“IT IS THE SHIRT’S”

What was the last thing that hapend something about time machine yad yada.

i look up and wala i am popping out of an egg what a scenario. in my face i see u and sam or whoever is saving me from area 51. with a shield and a large hammer. quickly u or sam explains to me that we have just put in the egg code to unlock all the eggs and now here i am o i forgot i have the alien bride with me hold on…………………

so actually i also come out of the egg with the alien bride but a chicen dinosaur eats her right away.

so this egg code has saved my life for now but time is running out plus we are in dino times so that’s another problem plus u or sam explains to me that other chicen dinosaurs are coming. its weird i am getting this right away i dont even have to ask any questions to get it because i feel this connection with u or sam it is a deep trust

so we hop out of the nest and WHAT DO YOU KNOW BACK TO SNEAKING AROUND! i quickly explain to you and sam that when i was with the aliens i became very adept at sneaking around and put your minds at ease by just telling you to follow my lead

here we go………………

first we sneak up a tree, then we sneak over to another tree and are confronted with a large insect villain from dinosaur times, we quickly and secretly descend from the tree. now we are on the jungle floor sneaking. the rocks in these times are much larger what a boon. the size of these rocks provide some really great shadows for sneaking around. as far as i know the dino’s are hot on are trail, so we continue sneaking and maybe ratchet it up a notch. by the way u guys are doing great, really getting the hang of sneaking.

as i was saying the shadows are stuck to us like glue. dinosaurs have never seen such an advanced method of sneaking. needless to say they are missing us at every turn. we sneak up to this river and have no choice but to continue sneaking directly into it.

once on the other side we sneak over this hill and find ourselves in a big open area, THE HARDEST area for sneaking this must be the final level. so we are trying all these creative ways of sneaking on a flat plain and man it is hard. u or sam loses some of there equipment this makes me nervous in case we have to face a final boss. but i do not let it show so u guys keep ur confidence up we will need it…

we get to the middle of this field and we are like is it really necessary to continue sneaking. i mean u and sam ask me that. you have a good point because i havent seen a dinosaur in a long time. so we decide to stop sneaking BIG MISTAKE

as soon as we stand up a giant ufo comes out of the sky and beams down a large amount of men in blaces!they are running around just going crazy, sprinting around and jogging back and forth. we get really excited and start fighting them

we beat them we beat the boss

so it is 1,000 bc when the dinasaurs roam the earth you are in a nice blazer and pants you are in the dinasaur nest in the eggs pile.  you are dazed and you see with the blurry vision what is going on?  a dinosaur chicen stoops over u and them comes home roost all your chicens are coming home to roost now what do you do input your secret code in under 60 seconds:

perfect!  u entered the code _____________

the coop is locked down u must enhance picture to see what u can see.  all you can see is eggs here they are can you decrypt the code u have to read the code ENTER YOUR CODE NOW

you have interred the correct code into the eggs it was ___ __ _ and now they are starting to crack open and little dinosaurs are coming out but there is one nut that u just cant seem to crace this one is really testing ur patients so u select the hamer of thor from your items list and equip it and also you equip the leather shield. yank on ur tuinic and it is time to do this thing you get closer to this one egg and this one is a doozy u can see ur reflection in it

“hey not bad!” u think.  it is the first time u have seen yourself in awhile and the look on your face is smooth, ur ripleing muscles chiseled J.R. (just right)  u see a crace in the egg when u look closer

the closer u get the more u see that something in this egg what can it be

remember, your trapped in the past u may have stopped the dinoasur chicen but there are more comeing and u think to yourself “o shit i wonder how gabe is doing” well guess what u look down and u see the crace in the egg is growing bigger there is something in there what can it be u look down something is comeing out of it

oh shit what is that this is FUCKED UP u check ur watch it is high noon

u peek closer at that little guy WHAT THE

HOLY SHIT ALIEN ALIEN HEAR MY PRAYER WHAT IS HAPENING HERE

U COVER UR EYES BUT U CANNOT HELP BUT TO SNEAK A PECE

CAN IT BE

IT CAN’T BE

IT IS

IT IS GABE

AL THIS TIME U ARE TRYING TO GET BACK IN THE FUTERE AND SAVE HIM AND NOW HE IS HERE IS HE SAVING YOU

IS HE SAVIENG JANE

TO BE CONTINUE…

now where were we ah yes

in the mist of a darine escape i find myself spralled atop a certain alien bride and she is none to please. for one her veil is now very jacked up and I accidentally caught her corset but in real life i am married so… 7 years bad luck but in alien years that is 8 years

the thing is, since i am in the future and surrounded by an alient secretes, how am i supposed to know how to handle this i dont know there customs. not only that can somebody tell me what powers does this lady have? i heard about a woman scorn but what about a alient scorn? my best bet is for someone from 2008 to come save me but until then i have to do plan b. at first i play it cool……..

“sorry i was trying to warn you that yourgroom just lost the rings and he told me something like ask my bride if she has them” figureing she will see i am helping and forgive me. she say……..

“you freaking jerk aliens dont have rings at there weddings now get over here so i can just kill you!” whoa i realize at this point i am out of my league

im like man this alien lady is about to clean my clock then i have a great idea

“i know just kiding what i really want to know is are u going my way

just kidding turn to page 75

page 75

i actually say “i know aliens dont have rings no freaking dip. to be honest your groom sent me to see if u would fall for that because then he would know if your a imposter. as u know there have been many bride imposters in the galaxy lately so i am just double checeing. ” she seems like she kind of gets it but still looks rather pised

“you expect me to believe that. im killing you right away” she say. wow now i am in a very deep fix. then i get another idea this one is even beter

“if you kill me” i say “who will ride your wild horse”

got u again turn to page 76

page 76

i rely say “no wait seriously I am sorry —- no one saw me catch your garmet let’s just pretend it never happen. im sorry im sorry im sorry please forgive me alien please” I finally feel like I am getting through to her she looks a little sympathetic but maybe still kind of enfuriated

she say”listen up news flash YOU FUCKING SLIM BEAN i have to get married in 50 years but in human time that is 30 minutes or less. now get out of my way before i kill you” jesus christ she is saying words like fuceing she must be really about to kill me i gotta think quick then it hits me the BEST IDEA YET for getting out of this tight squeeze.

“alien give me one more chance alien alien give me one chance”

bingo turn to page 100

page 100

seriously: this is the sweet idea i actually said i swear “WAIT ALIEN BRIDE I can repair all the damage done…. we can erase this and make it rite again just take me to your TIME MACHINE……………………………………….

to be continue

Hey don’t get me wrong, I love aliens as much as the next guy, but have you see this new phenom online where on youtube the alien does slice through the bread?  Kernels of butter to splash to the left, to the right.  People jump up and down like this is a Lukedo Wney concert.

the last thing we see was gabe flying through the are what’s next HERE WE GO

ok so gabe is in the futer and we are in the past where do we go from here the last thing you sall was the menen blaces.  gabe has been eating at the burgers ball all night what gives…

CHAPTER 3

you see the boys in blue and you know what you have to do: get away from those guys!  you shimy left or right and for just one secend u think this might be a fight

SIKE!  these are just aleins in black suits PHEW that was close but guess what WAS IT 2 ALIENS OR 1 ALEIN???????????????  pick the right amount to move forward:

ok so you made it, the right amount of aliens was _______ good work u are ready to get to the burgers and just get ripped HURRY UP

when u enter the throne room you see two dogs SHOOT THEM

you stuned the dogs okay next thing you see is a time mecine there is only one chance to do this right DO YOU CUT THE BLUE WIRE OR DO YOU CUT THE RED WIRE OR GREEN WIRE

you chose wisely and cut the _______ ____ good work you are going back in time O SHIT WAIT GABE IS IN THE FUTURE WHAT

when you come to there are egs everywhere all you see are eggs can it really be YES IT IS you are in a dinosaur nest the time is 3000 B.C things do not look good for gabe

u need to figure out the way to get to where he is (on top of aliens bride in the future) WHAT HAPPENS NOW

to be continue…

Guys ok now your me again

I am sorry it took so long but the banquet just let out. you would never believe how long these aliens take to eat a burger right there! its weird the burger didnt taste quite right…………

then i wake up a few hours later. oh hey guys where did this tux come from. i like the fit and everything. nice sun glasses too. THEN I REALIZE i am a men in balck!!!!!!! burgers is what they use to make the men in blacs

then this one alien comes up to me and he say wow you look great the wedding starts in 50 light years but in human time that is 1 minute! i thought i was a men in blace i say. he starts laging and stuff (kind of rude) and I’m like whats that smell oh I get it your breath smells like u havent brushed since we had those buerger’s and he’s like “we haven’t had burgere’s in over 50 years but in human years it is 100 years!!!!!!!!!! then I realize more: I am in the future already.

and I’m like what is all this talk about a wedding and he’s like your my best man

and then i realize more: while I was past out i did not graduate the men in blake academy like I hoped but instead i became friends with this idiot alien who wantce me to be his best man. this tux is not a uniform but an actual tux! i never thought i would be saying this but i need to get back to 2008 area 51 pronto.

so then i act like i am getting real nervous and i tell my friend alien that i need to go to the bathroom and vomit before the ceremony starts or who knows what will happen. he reluctantly agrees. then i punch him out!

now its definately to late to turn back. i duck back into the shadows and my sneaking mindset come back to me like it was just yesterday that i was sneaking in 2008.

so here i am in the shadows of this alien church sneaking around a shadow or 2, under a pew, through a couple alien legs, around the aisle, up on the cross, back down, over by the priest, under a bibel, then i hit the lights and jump through a stain glass window.

i am soreing through the air at supersonic speeds and I am thinking ok once i land i am Scott Free i just need to find my way back to 2008. i hit the ground but then i look up…. its not the ground…. but i LANDED ON MY FRIEND ALIENS BRIDE

she looks pised to be continue

Recape: gabe is trapped inside of area 50-1 the alieans are feeding him burgeres

you step out of the elevater onto the secend floor of area 51: it the entertainment complex.  this floor is where the aliens go to just have a ball, relax, get some R&R, chill with a friend, sip a martiny, etc.  it is like aliens vegas but instead of being in las veges it is inside of aria 51, usa.

the first thing you see is al the lights.  it is like you are in las vagas!  there are aliens to your left and to your right they do not give a care that you are there (because they can not see you hideing).  they are just haming it up haveing a good time with there friends.  they are browsing and haveing drinks.  watching dvds, etc.  you are behind a palm tree under a camoflage blanket they can not see you.  you look to your left you look to your right.  look up and down and al around and you spy with your satanic eye: the burgers mask!  you stoop down to pice it up.  BURGERS MASK ADED TO INVENTORY.  now you are ready to “just blend in.”  you put on the burgers mask because you going to the alien masquerade ball.  they are literaly haveing a ball!!! thos aliens what will the think of next (don’t ask me). 

as you proceed down the walkway to the maskerade ball you see two dogs walking two aliens.  what is this oposite day?  just chill out man, alieans are difrent you raceist.  you think about puling your gun, but you think twice: you don’t.  under your breathe you mutter “whos walking who get it” good one.

you are stopped by a young alien who just returned from medical leave.  “hey burgers guy where are you headed” he is drunk he was drinking human dr. peppers (aeliens metabolize dr. perpers different from humans it makes them have a bale) you say to him “i am going to the alean maskerade and burgers bale do you want to come with me you can ride on my bace” it is too late the aliean has pased out on the ground. to many dr perpers o well

you turn around only to spy the MIN INE BLACE…

to be continue

ok now your me

guyse oh man oh man it is intense in here it is area 51. I have been kidnaped for 1 day and things are strating to get strange. when I first got here it was cool for a litel bit no talk of probe’s or anything like that, just being cool, hangeing, chileing. At first I think wow alien’s are not so bad why do we always portray them as the enemy.

All that fun and game came to a screetching stop wants they came clean on what I was suppose to do. They say “Hi. It is are plan to make u a men in blace. we are pleaced to say you are just really cut out for this job, nice pecs, abs, etc” I am like WHAT. “But firsed we are going to probe and probe and probe some more” “in a couple days but for now just chile we are haveing buregrs tonight burgers toniiiight”

Besides from the burgers tonight , I am strateing to get a worry or two. I have always been queasy around probe’s and plus like do I realy want to be areasing memrys all day every day NO WAY. Rather be home just chileing etc. but how am I just supose to leave after they invite me to a burgers? Is this why they are so cuning? We Will see how things go tonight at the burgers meal.

in the mean time I have sneak off into the shaddows to up load out this mesage. i was being realy quiet sneaking. I hear some one coming so I ramp up the sneaking one more notch. then from out of no where I overhear an alien say to an other alien “somebody is shoting to stun all are guard dogs!” in a whisper tone . Hm I am thinking this could be it, this is where some one rescue me. Is it you?

gabe has been kidnaped and there is not a lot more to say of it.  he is mising and has been for 1 day and we are on the search for the clues the clues are in your mind.  think about the first time u made love.  the ocean breeze will cary you away to a other time and place it is the place in your heart.  remember this.

we are going to a journey inside of the alien base camp in area 51 this is where the kidnapers have take gabe he is a hostage.  the mision is to get to him before they get there probes on him and they are also to put metal in his teeth so we have to hury there is no time to lose.  let’s go!

level 1: sneak in through the front gate

there are two guard dogs at the front gate one is a chiwawa and the other is a choclet lab.  shoot to stun because you love dogs.  the first dog goes down and the second dog goes down.  now you are ready to enter the access codes the codes are a secret.  you have to guess the codes.  what are the codes?

type in the codes

you guesed the wrong codes try some other codes.

you type in the right codes you are in side the structure.

on your left you see a alien gun it is space technology.  you do not know how to operate the gun but you pick it up because in level 2 there are gun instructions (hint).

makeing your way down the coridor you see 2 guard dogs.  you shoot to stun, but you miss the first dog.  the second dog is barking and you shoot it and stun it.  the first dog is runing back to the main temple room to warn the aliens.  chase it you have 2 minutes to catch it or you will have to restart the level from the begining.

 you catch the dog just in time.  now you have to question the dog.  you ask it some questions and then you shoot it to stun.  the answers were unclear.  consult your field manual to translate the dogs answers.  nothing is found.

moving along the corridor you see three guard dogs.  you shoot the first two and the third one is running towards you.  DUCK!

it was a narrow escape, but you made it to the elevator.  press floor 2. 

STAGE 1 COMPLETE

with all this talk her and there about barry and clint, who is to say who is the best to run a mile? we are.

it is officale that 2 skirts has put all are egg’s into a basket for a president. see the shirt and get it before it is to late to “chang” .

come pare this one to the other cantidates shirts and you will just be like wow these other shirts !thank but no thank’s!! there is one that say “vote her or there” there is one that say “no fears” there is one that say “craceing all the way to the white house u get more” there is one that say “vote for my guy or girl he has … ideas?” there is one that say “always bet on a blace” there is one that say “ska ska” ther eis one that say “physch that is a chile” ther eis one that say “body time” there is one that say “no mantsen shirts” there is one that say “president give the best head because she hungry for democracy” there is one that say “hungry man do it on a soup can” there is one that say “i do what my voices in my head tell me (front)/they are saying they say ace venchera lines(bace)” there is one that say “where are my sleeve” there is one that is saying “libarales!” one that say “conserves!” there is one that say “dont blame me I vote for Christy” there is one that say “it has a picture of a cats face” there is one that say “fbi lady inspector” there is one that say “race for the cure winner gets the cure” but is there one that say it is time to change NO ONLY ONE SAY THIS

THIS IS WHY WE ARE VOTEING THIS YEAR FOR THE 08 GUY !!!!!!!!! see above for the guy itm ng cn,,k,

(I got attaced by the men in blace! help rescue me at area 51 see you there